The second half of this song is magnificent. In my soul I hear a transition from looking for others to be my magic to the magic in me, in creation and in the God who has his being.
I didn’t exactly see it coming. But when my body began to respond in discomfort and my mind was responding to my heart with fear and paranoia, I became aware of this place in my journey. I was in a tunnel. I still am in this tunnel. It’s not as though I can wish it away or even pray it away. Much like medications that relieve only the symptoms, we choose to wrestle, worry or flee from our dark moments, yet there are no options for an actual premature exit. It is a tunnel. When we don’t see how we entered we become shocked by the seemingly sudden dark moment we are in. Alone, cold and fearful we become emotionally paralyzed. We wonder what happened. We think we ought not be where we are.
Tunnels are not a destination. Though they are temporary dark places there is an eventual exit. It is a passage. A link between the here and now and what shall be. To the naked weariness of the soul it feels and looks like doom. To the spiritually aware it can become the passage through a mountainous transition. Though dark it is a shortened and smoother trip then the treacherous mountains we’ve been through before. We know how to prepare and cope for these long hikes. The paths are worn having repeated the same journey no matter how risky. This is different. It is only a tunnel. It is disconcerting and even frightful simply because it is different.
This morning I awoke and resisted the temptation to shrink into one of the three (wrestle, worry or flee) as I had the last few days. I made some peppermint tea. I sank into its warmth and refreshment and was tempted to think of what may or not come in my day. Either go back to bed or turn on the TV were my thoughts. Instead I put on my tennis shoes, tapped the Pandora app and began to walk in the coolness of the morning.
I felt a smile come to my face surprised by the last radio station I had played. I put my headphones on and put my iphone in my pocket. A most glorious version of a Sting song from the Symphonicities album began. My breathing became fuller as though I wanted the music in my lungs. Then the melodic melody waltzed with the outdoors around me. (I just walked by the way) I began to see without needing answers. The third eye they call it. Not just beholding beauty and not simply analyzing its origin, but gazing into the wonder of all that is in and around me. Sensing, knowing and understanding without an anxious aim to get relief from the present. Feelings became irrelevant to the truth of the Presence in the tunnel. It is temporary but necessary. Might as well enjoy the music.
So here’s what I heard. The she in this song is God to me this morning. It is the wonder of God that dazzles me. In my human state I hear this song and the romantic in me mourns. The loneliness and disappointments of lost love. In my physical state I feel aches and pains. But it is the awareness of God’s magic that enables me to see the wonder of it all.
Listening I see the magic. And the magic is not in a person or a thing it is in me just as the fear is not in the tunnel it is in me. I can choose to fear and mourn or gaze into the wonder of it all and experience the magic.