Today I am in darkness. Grief is slowly siphoning hope from yesterdays sunshine. We ate together and I guess I just didn’t see the gravity of it all. Today I have a choice in my moment of darkness. To believe the feeling of doom or the memory of hope. Many have scattered in fear and the same evil voice calls to me in the darkness. Where is he? Where is the power? Where are the miracles? Where is your Jesus?
I am taunted. The evidence of powerlessness surrounds me. I am tormented by the vision of your agony.
Little did I know I would feel this many times over in one lifetime. Family troubles, illness, death, job loss and heartache. It’s like Friday again and again. I doubt and I wrestle with the guilt of my desperation. I clench to disappointments and injustice.
But this time, in this moment.
I will wait.
My actions in the moment of darkness are usually my darkest actions.
I will wait.
In the cocoon of promised transformation –
I will wait.
Though it war against my visible odds –
I will wait.
May the memory of that ancient day and the knowledge of your coming resurrection cause me to wait all the more.
I will not create my own light. I will not pretend light into the moment with denial. No I will depend on the Light that was previously revealed. Though I don’t feel it now your words were clear.
I WILL wait.
For those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up as wings on eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Let this memory of the darkness of Friday teach me Lord – To Wait